Have you ever found yourself in the eye of a storm with no sense of direction? Do you ever worry yourself into a frenzy? Countless days of managing household activities and three young boys landed me here over and over again. Many mornings consisted of me screaming, “hurry up, eat your breakfast, put on your shoes, get in the car” and the boys yelling, “mom, he hit me.” Some days we would arrive at school and one of the boys didn’t have their shoes or one of them forgot their books. I raced a 100 miles an hour in every direction as a wife, mother and educator. Most days I found a way to take care of everyone else, but myself, not so much.
In the fall of 2011, after years of sacrifice, I decided it was time to do something for me so I signed up for an activity called “Zumba”. As it turned out, I loved Zumba and chose to include this in my already hectic schedule. As you can imagine, no one in the house understood what this Zumba was all about that now consumed a few hours of my time each week. The boys didn’t like the evenings they had to wait for dinner or when I wasn’t there for homework. My husband had a difficult time understanding how I could just up and leave my family obligations. As the conflict and bitterness heightened, I started asking myself "is this really worth it." Well…I decided it was worth it, and I am still enjoying Zumba today.
I had now carved out some time for myself, but I was still overwhelmed with my life and lived in utter chaos most days. One morning, a former student, and friend, called to invite me to a Christian Women’s Conference. I told her I would love to go, but I just didn’t have the time. I hung up the phone, and I began to cry. Something inside me longed to say “yes” to this invitation, but I didn’t know how I could fit one more activity in my crazy, busy schedule. Then, as though someone had reached out and smacked some sense into me, I called back and accepted.
We attended the conference on a Friday evening, and the night was filled with spiritual music and uplifting scripture. Then, we returned on Saturday for a full day of music, drama, and inspiring stories. “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, not to harm, plans to give you hope and a future” radiated from the mouth of Lysa Terkeurst. This scripture, Jeremiah 29:11, really spoke to me that day. I heard heart touching stories from Lysa and other women, and I was especially moved by Laura Story's song, "Blessings". Upon leaving the conference, I decided to purchase a journal so I could record my many blessings and release my anguish through writing. On the shelf that day stood a journal with this exact scripture--so began my spiritual journey.
My spirit was burning inside after the conference, and in the days to come, I wrote down countless blessings. I also thanked God for my Angels here on earth. I was becoming more than just a wife and mother; I was becoming one of God’s children. I began to wonder what God had planned for me. I had been attending church for over 15 years, but I never thought of myself as much of a Jesus girl. I continued to spend more time listening to spiritual music and reading God's holy word. And, during the Christmas season, in the spirit of giving, a friend and I gathered our families together to make Christmas baskets to uplift people in our community during the busy, holiday season. A change had begun…with no way of knowing where it would lead. Later the following year, I looked back and then saw this as a time of preparation for the hard days to come.
By Jeanette Lytle