God Touched Me

One morning Austin asked me how I was able to hear God speak to me. And, my reply was “through the Spirit, the Word, praise music and other people.”  I also told him how it felt when the Spirit showed; it is like a tingling or electrical current running through my veins.  I haven’t always been able to hear and feel God.  God’s power within me showed up after years of reading and studying God’s word and spending the first part of my day in prayer, thanksgiving and worship.  You cannot hear God’s instruction for your life until you read God’s instruction in the Word of God.  The Bible contains all that you need to build a relationship with the Lord.  God is real, and you can see, feel and hear God when you ask God to enter your world.

I have always believed in God, but I spent many years ignoring God because I wanted to live life my way, not God’s way.  About seven years ago, I decided I wanted to know and feel what others experienced as they walked life with the Lord…thus began my journey with God. The crazy and unexpected part about walking with the Lord is that sometimes your life becomes even more chaotic and crazy than you ever thought it could be.  You often find yourself asking, “Why is this happening to me Lord?  I am finally walking with you. Why has my life experience worsened?”  Years of chaos will suddenly bring you to a point in living life where you understand it’s the existence of evil spirits.

You finally acknowledge that evil exists here on earth and the battle can only be won with a more solid foundation of faith in the Lord.  When you become prideful and think I got this…BAM! You are struck by blows of evil.  At that moment, you must reach out for God’s hand to pull you closer.  Then, you will be able to live within the circumstances of your life no matter how hard they may become.  Through our suffering, pain, hardship and grief, the Divine One has opportunity to shape us into an ultimate masterpiece.

I have countless examples where my plans (let me emphasize “my”) were changed so God could do the sculpting.  God’s plans are very different from my plans, and God has made that very clear.  Now, I ask God to provide the plan instead of making the day about my plan.  Every day that I relinquish control to God and accept God’s ways, God pulls me closer. Then, one day God touched me.  I mean really touched me.  Let me explain that day.

I woke up and entered a whole new experience with the Lord…one that exceeded my human mind’s ability to process. After Joe kissed me and left for work, I felt a tapping on my shoulder blade, and it wouldn’t stop.  I continued to feel the tapping and so I asked, “What do you want?” and the tapping momentarily stopped as I spoke those words. Then, within seconds, it started again so this time I said, “What do you want? I am listening.”  Again, as I spoke, the tapping completely subsided until I stopped talking.  When it started again, I laid there and felt tap after tap after tap.  I knew it would stop again if I spoke.  I started a full conversation with the Lord, which included thanking God for the wonderful morning, for my life, for working with my relationship with Joe, etc., and then I followed that with prayer for friends that continue to suffer through grief and trials of many kind.

Guess what happened during my thanksgiving and prayer?  No more tapping on my shoulder blade.  Did it resume at the end?  No, as I had done God's will.

God wanted to have a conversation with me before I arose from my bed, but, of course, it wasn’t all about God desiring a conversation with me.  God knows we talk every day.  No, today was about sharing that "God touched me", with the rest of the world.  God is real, God loves you no matter what, and God wants a relationship with you.

Daddy Please

On March 19, 2018, I was on my front porch reading Week 5 of The Presence Process by Michael Brown, which I had already read twice.  At that moment, it hit me like a ton of bricks being thrown down from the gates of heaven, "You are going to see your dad, right now."  I said, "Okay...God I hear you, but I am not sure if I have enough courage or strength to do this today."  After all, I had just spent all evening Sunday crying after watching the movie, "I Can Only Imagine."  I then went to my spiritual room and prayed before changing my clothes and heading to my dad’s place.  I prayed all the way there that he would be home.

I pulled into the driveway and his car was there, so I knew he was home.  I knocked on the front door several times.  I knocked on the frame and the glass and no one came.  It was a fairly nice day so I thought maybe he was outside so I walked around the back of the trailer.  I didn’t see him anywhere so I knocked on the back door.  I could hear the tv on inside the back door.  I knocked and knocked and no one came so then it went through my mind that he was lying inside of the trailer dead.  At that point, I knocked louder and said, “dad are you in there” over and over again.  I reached the point where I was screaming, "Daddy please open the door."  I went back around to the front of the trailer and started knocking again. Then, about the time I started to turn to leave, the door opened and there stood my dad.  Then, I looked at him and said, “Hi Dad, would you like to go for a drive with me?”  And he hesitated, and I just knew he was going to say, “no”.  So I quickly added that I would like to take a drive to the cemetery.  Then, he said, “I guess I can go.  Just give me a minute.”  I waited outside for what seemed like 10 minutes, but I am sure it was just a few.

I told him that I knew the day would eventually come when he would no longer be on this earth, and I really wanted to make sure I knew what he wanted at that time.  We visited the cemetery where he had his plot so I would know the location and discussed a few other administrative issues.  Seeing his name on the headstone was extremely emotional and surreal.   I have tears welling up in my eyes at this moment as I think about my dad’s last name on that headstone at the graveyard.

Anyway, we jumped back in the car, and I asked if he wanted to grab a bite to eat before we headed back to his place.  He said he was thinking about frying up some ham before I arrived.  Then, I told him if there was anything that he hadn’t had for awhile I could pick it up for him.  He said he didn’t want to go in anywhere because he had thrown on some of his dirtiest pants.  They looked like he had been working a construction job on a work site.  Anyway, I decided I would just run into Fat N Sassy’s and pick us up some sandwiches.  As I started to pull over, he said you know there is a place on the other side of town that a lot of people go to  so I would like to try that place out today.  We drove to the north side of Huntingburg to a Family Restaurant, and I asked if he wanted to go inside.  He looked at his pants for a moment and then he said, “Sure let’s go inside and eat.”  As we walked toward the door, I said, “Dad no one is going to know whether or not you got all that dirt working hard on a construction job or not.  People go to eat lunch dirty from work all the time.”  I think that was just what he needed to hear because he seemed at peace with the way he looked just then.

We sat down and ordered lunch.  I knew there was so much I wanted to say, but I started with some of the most positive things I could think up at the time.  And, it went something like this, “Dad I have been working on my emotional development lately, and I started thinking a lot about you during this time.  I realized how much I have missed you over the years.  I remember when you taught me how to ride my bike.  You would run along behind me again and again down the side walk, and then when you finally thought I was ready, you let go.  There I was riding all by myself.  That is a great memory for me.  I remember a lot from my childhood.  I remember when you would take us to Evansville to ride down the big slide.  I remember all the times you took us swimming and to the fireworks.  I remember the first time I rode a rollercoaster at Opryland. You were the one who took me on the ride, and I was just barely tall enough to ride on that big roller coaster.”  Somewhere during this conversation, he asked if I could get him a napkin.  Then, I watched as he dabbed at the tears in his eyes.  I had never seen my dad cry before, but I was sure that was what he was doing at that moment even though I never saw one run down his cheek.

Then, his chicken noodle soup arrived and his cottage cheese.  And, I watched my dad so enjoy his food.  He said, “This chicken noodle soup is so good.”  I think it tasted so good because he had me there while he was eating it.  He told me that he had been fighting depression and that no one had come to see him lately.  I listened to him tell me how he still visits his girl friend in the nursing home about every other day, and then it was my turn again.

This time was more difficult for me as I said, “Dad I am probably going to cry when I tell you this.  I have suffered my whole life because you walked out of my life when I was 12-years old.  I still remember the day that we pulled into the driveway, and you said, 'this is just too hard for me each time I pick you up and bring you all back every other weekend.  I won’t be picking you up anymore.'”  I am a grown woman, and I have been for a long time, but I will never forget that day as long as I live.  It was the day that he took a large hunk of my heart with him.  I suffered through so many broken relationships with men from that day forward.  I told my dad that all my relationships had suffered because of that one day.  He then said, “I never knew it bothered you that much.”  I said, “I know because I have never been able to tell you.  But, I just want to feel whole again in my life, which is why I am here with you today.”  I cried hard during that conversation, and I watched his eyes well up a few times in tears, but I knew at that moment, we both were going to be okay.  (This was very difficult to write.  I cried a lot and had to go grab some Kleenexes before I could finish it.)

The rest of our food arrived, and his breaded tenderloin was about four times the size of his bun so I laughed when I saw his eyes get really big and he said, “I have never seen a tenderloin sandwich this big.”  I said, “Well dad you have enough for your lunch and dinner today.”  We lightened the mood and just talked for awhile about everyday life.  You see, I had no idea the last time I had seen my dad.  I just knew it had been years.  I had no memory of the last time.  Usually, I would see my dad when he needed me to take him to the VA Hospital in Marion, IL before they had the hospital in Evansville.  Or, I would see him when he needed some money for his bills because he had gambled all of his money away that month.

Today, was an extra special day because I slid $20.00 across the table to him, and I told him that he could use it for gas to get back and forth to see his girlfriend.  He looked at me and said, “I don’t need it.  You have done plenty for me today.”  I knew right there and then God was in the middle of that table because my dad would never turn down money.  He slid it right back over to me, and I put it away.  This day was one of the greatest days in the recording of my life.  It was perfect.

I took my dad back to his trailer, and he said, “I would invite you in, but I keep it real cold in my place because I don’t have money for the gas bill otherwise.”  I said, “That’s okay.  I will at least see you to the front door.”  He opened the door, and then he said, “Oh, just come on in anyway.”  We walked in through the door, and I could feel the warmth in that room.”  Then, he said, “Huh…the wood burner is going.  I don’t recall starting a fire.”  He had even told me during lunch that he didn’t use his wood burner anymore because it cost him too much for the wood, and he wasn’t able to chop his own wood anymore.”  I looked around and there was nowhere to sit because there was stuff piled high on all the furniture.  He showed me a couple of items that were in the room that he would like for me to have.  Then, he took me back to his room where he stayed all the time watching tv.

After a few more minutes, we walked back toward the front door.  I hugged him tight, and then I hugged him again.  And, I said, “Dad I love you.”  He didn’t say it in return, but I know he felt it.  He asked me if I was usually off on Mondays, and I said, “Yes, most of the time.”  He then said, “Do you think you could come and pick me up again one day.”  And, I said, “Of course, dad.  I can do that.”  I could hear the words, “I love you.” In the silence of that moment.  He didn’t have to say the words.  I left in my car, and I cried and cried as I drove away from his place.  Then, I turned on my radio and there playing on my cd was a song that I always skipped over because I couldn’t listen to it without crying.  That song was Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman.  I listened to it all the way through as I bawled my eyes out to the point of complete blurriness.  Then, I thought I finally received my Cinderella moment today.  My dad is 87 years old, and I thank God for this beautiful day with my dad. The End.

True Meaning of Grass by Adam Lytle

The game had progressed into the latter innings; sweat beads ran down my cheeks; and the sound of a seamed sphere against my leather glove repeatedly resonated across the field. Catching was my position, possibly because no one else liked it, but regardless I played it as well as I could. On that day, however, playing at all would become incredibly challenging. Green, grouped, trimmed and proper, the only time tragedy becomes cohesive. Like any baseball field, ours was one that included the all too familiar grass outfield, along with a two-thirds majority grass infield. The diamond life is never a lonely one, but the companionship formed when you win will never be as great as that formed through loss. Standing under the good ole’ red, white and blue, while a local vocalist rips the national anthem, will forever be a cherished memory, but what happened on this day will forever be cherished comradery.

First you hear the whispers, then a teammate unexpectedly leaves with his father, unaware of his little brother’s fate. The tension was growing, and baseball is becoming an afterthought as we play more off instinct than concentration. As human beings, we realize that the expression “oh no” can never result in a positive outcome. Considering this realization, I want you to imagine those words said with the power of a jack hammer, and the pitch of nails on a chalkboard. That was exactly what I heard standing at the edge of the dust filled dug out; I would come to discover its origin, a woman we all considered our second mom, Pam. Standing in the dugout, I was momentarily paralyzed, becoming an extension of the concrete, where I stood.   Then, nearly as fast as I had been frozen, I was released. Click, Clack, Click, Clack, the all too familiar sound of cleats on any hard surface gave me the kind of chills that knock a person to their knees. It was all I heard during the concrete walk over to discover, what I already subconsciously knew.

Hunter Thomas McDaniel was only fifteen years old when he died on that blistering hot July day. Hunter left this world doing one of the things he loved the most, riding his dirt bike. His mother never saw him coming as she was heading down the driveway. He shot out of the tree line and the collision was enough to cause the internal bleeding that would take his life. Gone before he could make an impact in our world… or so we thought.

After a brief consoling session, continuing to play seemed to be the only logical next step; voting was unnecessary. Our coach barely got the question out before my teammates and I began reassuring him that finishing this game meant the World to us; Hunter would want it that way. I quickly found out how much harder catching could be when your eyes are nearly blinded by tears and every part of your body is shaking like a box fan with a bent blade. With every pitch, the vice on my heart seemed to tighten, and I became extremely grateful for the mask I so often hated wearing. Two innings later the game came to an end.

Shaking hands after a baseball game has been an unwritten rule for as long as I can remember.  However, on that day, we would not shake the hands of our “opponents”, but the hands of fellow baseball players, no longer playing for competition, but for the love of the game. I know this to be true because the looks on many of the visiting players’ faces were very similar to those of my own teammates—swollen, fighting back tears, and sporting reassuring smiles.

Over the next few days, I came to realize that Hunter had one talent that outshined all the rest; he had the remarkable ability to bring people together. As odd as it sounds, the day of his funeral became the greatest example of his most prominent character trait. For the rest of my life, that entire day will be a blur to me, but I will never forget the awe I felt when a large portion of six to seven separate towns, covering three to four separate counties, walked through my high school gym that day. There is something inspirational in bearing witness to a congregation of nearly 3,000 people celebrating a young boy’s life (all attending his showing).

The next day at the funeral nearly a thousand of us stood in the bleachers and sang “See You Again” in unison. That kind of respect and adoration sends chills down your spine that words can never fully express. Following the funeral, the procession of cars stretched the entire three miles of road that connected Tecumseh High School to Lynnville Cemetery. Cars parked in every possible space, on nearly every road in town. This kind of support continued for weeks, long after Hunter had been laid to rest. To this day hundreds gather at charity events and gatherings in Hunter’s honor.

For in the ashes new seeds are sewn.

From the ashes new life will grow.

Leave the past in ashes,

Let the old things give way.

Start a fresh new life right here today.

In the ashes,

From the ashes,

Out of ashes

(“Out of Ashes” Michael Mangan).

On that fateful July day, a brother, a son, and a life would be lost. As a direct result, scholarships were given, brotherhoods were established, unbreakable friendships were made, and a community became a family. Hunter’s older brother, Tristen, the teammate who left the game early with his father, would soon become my best friend. I have missed him every single day since I left for college, and I will continue to miss him until I see him again. You could understand this story as the heartbreaking tragedy it is, or you could see it for the lessons it contains.

Each of us will choose to interpret the true meaning of grass differently, but for me, it will always sound a little something like this: Cherish your friendships, nurture your relationships, and live a life that involves improving the days of those around you, because you never know when they’ll be going, going, gone.

Will You Be Sleeping

I often ponder why so many people, people I dearly love, are going through some of the darkest times of their life.  Why would God of the Universe permit such tragic circumstances and watch as the sin of the world runs rampant?  Could it be that He is going to drastic measures to wake up His people before Christ returns to earth?  Every day in the news we hear of drug wars, sexual scandals, earthquakes, out of control fires, family members murdered by their own, child molestation, war, famine, hurricanes and on and on.  I believe God is using unconventional means to bring His people to Christ.  Maybe, the cancer, death, temptations, murder, etc. are permitted as a final attempt to bring salvation to His people.

I recently read in Revelation 5:6 “Then I saw a Lamb standing in the center of the throne and in the middle of the four living creatures and the elders. The Lamb looked as if he had been killed. He had seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven spirits of God that were sent into all the world. 7 The Lamb came and took the scroll from the right hand of the One sitting on the throne. 8 When he took the scroll, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders bowed down before the Lamb. Each one of them had a harp and golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of God’s holy people.”  I have read Revelations several times, but I was never struck by “the seven spirits of God that was sent into all the world” as I was this time.

I read on to learn more about the seven spirits.  In Revelation Chapter 6,  “Then I watched while the Lamb opened the first of the seven seals. I heard one of the four living creatures say with a voice like thunder, “Come!” 2 I looked, and there before me was a white horse. The rider on the horse held a bow, and he was given a crown, and he rode out, determined to win the victory.  3 When the Lamb opened the second seal, I heard the second living creature say, “Come!” 4 Then another horse came out, a red one. Its rider was given power to take away peace from the earth and to make people kill each other, and he was given a big sword. 5 When the Lamb opened the third seal, I heard the third living creature say, “Come!” I looked, and there before me was a black horse, and its rider held a pair of scales in his hand. 6 Then I heard something that sounded like a voice coming from the middle of the four living creatures. The voice said, “A quart of wheat for a day’s pay, and three quarts of barley for a day’s pay, and do not damage the olive oil and wine!”

You can’t turn on the tv or browse social media without witnessing acts of these spirits; murder and famine are going on all around the world.  But, take note, there is still hope in Jesus, by the power of the Holy Spirit.  He resides here on Earth relentlessly trying to win the victory, gaining momentum each time you and I share the gospel with others in our paths.  Our purpose on this Earth is to turn others to Christ before He gallops in on the white horse, appearing in the clouds, to bring His people home.  God sent Christ into the world over 2,000 years ago to save His people.  We need only confess our sins and ask Christ into our hearts and by His blood our sins are forgiven with the promise of salvation and eternal life.

As I studied Mark 13 in the First5 app this week, I came across scripture that aligns with the title I created for this writing.  It is no coincidence that I didn’t finish this piece on Monday.  In Mark 13, Jesus told the disciples about the destruction of the temple that would soon come to pass.  He spoke of the end times with the disciples.  He told them not to be afraid when they hear about wars and how nations will fight against other nations.  He warns of the earthquakes and famine.  He also warns about the false prophets that will come and perform great miracles and wonders.  All these things must happen before the end comes.  Mark 13:32-33 shares a significant Word of Truth, “No one knows when that day or time will be, not the angels in heaven, not even the son. Only the Father knows.  Be careful!  Always be ready, because you don’t know when that time will be.”

As you celebrate, the Birth of Jesus, with family this year, will you ensure your people know Jesus as their Savior?  If you knew Jesus was coming tomorrow, would you ensure all your friends knew Jesus as the one and only way into Heaven?  Do you know someone in need this holiday season that could use a word of hope or possibly some food or drink for their table? Will you take a “time out” to share the love of Jesus with these people? God had a plan for each one of us on the day we were delivered from our mother’s womb.  “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you not to harm; plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11.

The world is still full of people who don’t know the love of Jesus.  Are you travelling through the day in complete complacency, forgoing the opportunity to tell others about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ? During Christmas this year, place God at the center of your celebration, tell others about Jesus and give to those in need.  And, “Always be ready.  Otherwise, he might come back suddenly and find you sleeping.  I tell you this, and I say this to everyone. ‘Be ready!’” Mark 13:36-37.

As you rejoice in celebration, remember the reason for the season, and ponder this final question, “When Jesus comes to take His people home, will you be sleeping?”

Toxic Nostalgia

“Feelings or behavior intrude without warning, out of nowhere, without your being aware of their origin or meaning.  The participating event is usually symbolic, without reminding you of what you’ve been secretly repressing.  The response is sudden, excessive, and produces anxiety and sometimes a feeling of going crazy as the emotional dam bursts.  There is no comfort in what is recalled, merely more pain.  The feelings displace you.  They feel familiar and alien at the same time.”  As I read these words written by David Viscott, I knew this described my feelings and behavior of the past several months…at last an answer.

The Lord had worked hard to bring me to this place where I would discover the condition of my mental health that had also been affecting my physical health.  I hadn’t visited Barnes and Nobles for years, and this was my 3rd visit there in less than a month.  

Earlier that morning, I visited the orthodontist and then planned to stop at the Dollar Tree to pick up some food and supplies to make some blessing bags for the homeless.  On the way, I was hit with the need of a bathroom so Barnes and Nobles was my stop.  I saw a 50% off shelf on the way into the restroom and decided to stop there before leaving.  I scanned a few of the titles, picking up a couple of books and placing them back on the shelf.  Then, one book caught my eye because its title contained the word “resilience,” and I picked it up.  I typically would have scanned the back cover or the table of contents, but instead I opened it to a page in the latter part of the book.  

There on that page, I read, “The strength of the stimulus that provokes a memory determines the depth of the recalled feeling, whereas in Toxic Nostalgia the response may be out of all proportion to the event that stirred it.”  This captured my curiosity.  What is this Toxic Nostalgia, the author, David Viscott, referred to in this statement?  I read on and came across the paragraph at the start of this written piece.  Suddenly, relief flooded my inner soul as I witnessed the God of the Universe showing me His omnipresent character.  At that moment I thought…maybe I should pinch myself because it was in this place where all that I had been experiencing over the past several months would be diagnosed in the written words of a random book on the exact page I opened it.  Can we say, “God works in mysterious ways.”

Unbeknownst to most people in my life,  I had been struggling with something, but I had no idea what that something was.  I questioned many times, “What is going on Lord?  I thought clearly I heard you tell me to write a book of my past hurts to provide hope for others, but what is this feeling inside of me?” I had frantically typed page after page of hard stuff, reliving each pain of the past.  I felt so vulnerable with each circumstance that I revealed in my writing.  I thought, “how many more of my sins can I spill out on these white pages before the shame of my youth takes me back to the place of desperation I can’t escape.”  I couldn’t seem to shake the uneasy feeling percolating within me.

Looking back now, there is no doubt I had landed in the pit of hell.  I was in a battle with the evil forces, praying for clarity and strength.  I awoke countless nights with an uneasy feeling and fearful that I wouldn't be able to break through the stronghold.  I averaged 4-5 hours of sleep every night for close to three months.  I was emotionally taken back to a time in my life filled with past hurt, and during this time both my energy level and physique transported back to that period too.  I dropped fifteen pounds, prompting people to ask if everything was okay.  I wasn’t sure if everything was okay or not, and certainly nothing made sense so I usually just mentioned the difficulty of adjusting to my two older sons being in college.

Is it possible that the pages of past hurts, where I had relived some very hard and painful times in my life, had transported me back to that time.  After all, I had cried many tears as I poured out all the hurt in over 30,000 words in my “work-in-progress” book.  I had dug deep into my cedar chest and pulled out old pictures, letters, and a journal from the early 80’s.  I had read the recounting of the death of my best friend, which I had never been able to read before working on this book.  I had undergone some outrageous feelings of weakness, brokenness and desperation that wouldn’t leave me.

I begged God to take away the pain and give me rest, but my prayers went unanswered.  As I recounted all the sins of my past, I cried out to the Lord for forgiveness.  I prayed God would grant control of my life as I was on a roller coaster ride that I was no longer enjoying.  Through this struggle I became more and more aware of my need for the Lord and His Word.  I certainly realized that the self-control that I thought I had mastered over the years was non-existent at this moment.

During the madness, God showed himself again and again, but He wouldn’t restore me.  He permitted circumstances beyond my control, followed by suffering, to usher in complete obedience.  He mastered a plan for me to grow stronger in the Lord.  He watched patiently until I became completely dependent on Him.

God gave me moments of peace and rest, but he forced me to work through the healing process of pain, acceptance, and grace.  I experienced some feeling of calm when I went to the altar one Sunday and the pastor prayed over me.  There were mornings during devotional time and praise songs that I felt temporary relief.  Church Sundays were the most peaceful, and I found myself longing for Sunday morning worship.  God showed Himself during these difficult days.  He broke me, He humbled me and now He is piecing me together, one piece at a time. 

A turning point came for me on the final day of October.  As I listened to Crowder’s song “Come As You Are,” his words resonated with me.  I love the words of this song, and I have included part of the lyrics here that really spoke to me.

“Come out of sadness from wherever you've been
Come broken-hearted, let rescue begin
Come find your mercy, oh sinner come kneel
Earth has no sorrow that heaven can't heal.

So Lay down your burdens, lay down your shame
All who are broken, lift up your face
Oh wanderer come home, you're not too far
So lay down your hurt, lay down your heart
Come as you are.”

Thank you Charlie for singing that song, on the very night it was most necessary.

On the morning of November 1, 2017, I thought what better time to start anew.   As I thought of the days of youth when I was wild and free, without a care in the world, I knew that was not where God wanted me to be. God has a purpose for each of us, and I love when He speaks to me through His scripture.  2 Timothy 2:22 says, "Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 23 Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid, because you know they produce quarrels. 24 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 25 Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will."  The best instruction ever written is God’s word.

I believe God has been waiting on me to let go of the past and say “yes” to His will, not my will.  As I have  relinquished control to the Lord, He has given me answers to the mental anguish.  On the day of discovering toxic nostalgia, I purchased the book, entitled Emotional Resilience.  It fully described exactly the way I had been feeling for several months.  I was both intrigued and mind-boggled by the treasure God had given me.  My mind is still blown away by the fact that somehow that morning I stopped in the bookstore and by some strange chance stumbled across a book that completely described me.  I praise God for this discovery because I know this momentary stop on my path was no coincidence.  Never doubt God’s presence in the here and now.  On this day His guiding hand rescued me. 

I took the book home and started with Chapter 12 so I could better understand the Toxic Nostalgia I had been experiencing.  I immediately felt 90% better just knowing I wasn’t crazy and that the muck I had been swimming in was a condition, one that I could overcome in time.  The new, found knowledge contained in this book was the beginning of my recovery.  Praise God, I am okay!!  Thank God for His mercy and grace!  And, I know He isn't done with me yet so stay tuned for the next creation.

Refuse to Sink

Do you feel like drift wood tossed about in the ocean or as though the storms of life are dragging you under?  Maybe you are drowning in the depths of sin or plummeting in an ocean of tumultuous trials.  Like a drifter lost at sea with no end in sight, you have a choice: give up and drown in troubled water or remain steadfast and refuse to sink.  I encourage you to grasp hold of the rope, secured by the anchor, Jesus Christ our Savior, and refuse to sink. 

An anchor is designed to connect a vessel to the bottom of a body of water to prevent the craft from drifting during strong wind or currents, inherent in troubled waters.  You too can hold fast to the life line, affixed to solid ground, through God’s anchor for your soul, Jesus Christ.  If you say “yes” to Jesus, He can and will secure your vessel and steady you in the middle of your raging storm.

Jesus died on the cross, rose from the grave and returned to earth to provide the means of gaining God’s promise of hope during troubled times.  As He ascended into heaven to sit by God’s right side, He left us the Holy Spirit, the rope that provides the means to be forever anchored with the Body of Christ.  He is the only steadfast anchor for our soul and our hope of a better tomorrow.  Heaven awaits those who cling to the hope of Jesus.

What validates this hope?  God’s truth as is written in Hebrews 6: 17 “Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. 18 God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged. 19 We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, 20 where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf.”

When trials and temptations come crashing into our world like an out of control tsunami, leaving our vessel wrecked and torn from the powerful force of the storm, God provides a life line back to the calm, Jesus.  You need only to cry out to Jesus, or in extreme cases, you may have to scream at Him at the top of your lungs.  Nevertheless, if you wait patiently on the Lord, He will hear your cry and provide relief for your torn and tattered soul.  No matter the depth of the sin or the intensity of the struggle, Jesus can and will provide redemption for His children.

I watched as they raised him from the water and laid him on the ground, feverishly working to resuscitate his small, lifeless body.  People prayed all around for God’s hand to reach down and calm the storm, categorized as level “nightmare.”  Paramedics, police, neighbors, strangers, firemen and even a life flight crew arrived on scene, but no amount of people calmed the sea.  He passed from the realm of this earth into the pearly gates of the unknown, leaving behind desperation and brokenness in the wake. 

How does one navigate back to the shore and unearth the glory of God’s mercy and grace?  Begin each day in God’s word, studying His guiding truths for navigating life.  Pray for the aid of the Holy Spirit, your life line, as you lay down your burdens and sin.  Serve in God’s kingdom, instead of pursuing your own selfish desires.  Wait patiently, as He begins to calm the storm in you.  And, in time He anchors you to solid ground and the tumultuous ups and downs, that threatened to take you under, level out as the vessel begins to steady.  Continue to shine your light for others, loving and serving the Lord on your journey.  Ask God to show His presence in your life every day as the evil one awaits the moment you lower your guard.

In this life, unexpected trials may crash into the calm, as evil lurks around every corner looking for unsuspecting souls to devour.  Tragedy or unforeseen events may leave behind feelings of hopelessness.  Those walking with Jesus, question how God could permit such evil to evade a life set apart for God’s calling.  Possibly, He permits the struggle to make us stronger or to teach reliance on His strength rather than our own.  God may be providing strength training for our next big assignment.  No one can ever know God’s reason for allowing evil to permeate our lives, but rest assured He can bring good from the worst of circumstance.

As you navigate the storms of life, I leave you with this passage from Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”   Hold steadfast to Jesus, the anchor of hope.  And, refuse to sink!

The Pit of Despair

You find yourself slipping, slipping, slipping down a slippery slope of rocks.  The rocks begin to move apart under your footing.  You don’t want to go there…down there in that pit of despair.  You feel the heat of the flames below…you cry out, “Lord no, don’t let me go! Please take my hand.”

In the distance, you hear His whisper, “Not yet, my child, there are places you must still go, hard places you never thought you would know.”  “I love you my child, and I must permit you to fall, down, down, down into the pit of despair.”

In this pit, you long for an escape from the pain.  My child, know I am there.  You are surrounded by flames in the darkness.   I am still present.  “I regret your suffering my child, but this is the only way you will know “I am”.”   In the pit of despair, you will discover “I am” your God, your Father, the Maker of man, and you child are my beloved.

You have walked with me for some time now, my child, but you still don’t trust the depth of my power.  When you feel the agonizing pain, your lungs collapsing inside of you and your last breath slipping away, then my child you will treasure my presence in your pain. 

My power is made perfect in your weakness.  I have overcome the evil within you.  In the final hour, I will reach down inside the pit of despair with my extended right hand.  I will take hold of your hand with my tremendous grip and pull you from the pit.  Your wandering soul will be no more, and as your body shakes from my strength, the Holy Spirit will take its place.  Then, my child you will know "I am" in full control.

Power of the Brokenness

In a story of my life in the wilderness, “my countless sins have been laid out before you.  I know I don’t deserve to be called a child of God with the weight of my sins.  But, the good news is God loves us and forgives us, we only need to repent and ask in His name.  Then, He in return asks us to sin no more.”  These are the closing words in a book God has called me to write, but some days He gives me so much good stuff, I don’t want to wait for the published piece, possibly years from now.  The scripture and paragraphs below are a piece of my written work.

I listen to stories of others losing faith in their state of brokenness.  The world has reached a level of despair surpassing our level of understanding.  Young lives are taken from loved ones leaving little hope for tomorrow.  People are drowning in a sea of anxiety and despair.  Wandering souls are searching for relief from their pain, finding comfort in unwanted places.  Just yesterday, one of my students disclosed his recently diagnosed anxiety disorder.

The power that can be found in weakness resonates with me, and I have witnessed first-hand the healing power of God in our brokenness.  I have inlaid the written word of God through his apostle Paul, who knows what it means to overcome in every sense of the word.  God converted Paul on the road to Damascus and here are some of his words in 2 Corinthians 12:

 2 I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. 3 And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— 4 was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things, things that no one is permitted to tell. 5 I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. 6 Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, 7 or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I love how Paul uses his weaknesses to show God’s power.  God has dug thorns in my flesh countless times. He has destroyed me to the innermost core of my soul in His transformation process.  God transforms his chosen people to serve as strong, spiritual warriors in his army.  He has torpedoed me with countless trials and unbearable turmoil, and I have fallen again and again.  There have been times when I was unsure whether I could muster the strength to go on.  It was during those times of my life that God showed me there is power in the brokenness.

Countless times, I have screamed to the Lord “Save me from this spiritual battle of good and evil!   Captivate my thoughts!  Replace them with the power of your Holy word!  I cannot take this anymore!!”  He has answered the screams, but in return He requires tremendous sacrifice.  I have sacrificed time, sleep and my appetite.  I have given to those in need, listened to the broken-hearted and awakened many nights to write of His glory.  Slowly he begins to repair the despair.  Know that he cannot heal in a day.  It is a continuous process of crying out to Jesus, asking for forgiveness and turning to God’s word for guidance and comfort.  In the beginning, you may not feel His Presence as it takes time.  But, do not give up the fight!!

Maybe, you are broken and need to know the power of the Lord today.  If you are wandering on a sinful path or have fallen into a pit of despair, cry out to Jesus and build another layer with the Lord, He will make you stronger.  As you continue to grow your relationship with the Lord, He will give you warrior strength.  I truly believe He places you on hard, bumpy roads for strength building.  He is all knowing, and the spiritual battle ahead will be the hardest fight of your life.  There is no room for weakness in the battle of good versus evil.  God needs every part of you focused on combating evil and pulling others to Christ by the power of your testimony. 

Thank you, Jesus, for dying on the cross for me.  I will not be defeated.  I will overcome by the power of the Holy Spirit. I vow to forever serve in your Kingdom and to share the story of your great power in the brokenness of my life. Again, as is written in 2 Corinthians 12: 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 

The Longing of a Woman

The Longing of a Woman

I invite you to listen to these words, “How beautiful you are, my darling!  Oh, you are beautiful!  Your eyes behind your veil are like doves.  Your teeth are white like newly sheared sheep just coming from their bath.  Your lips are like red silk thread, and your mouth is lovely.  Your cheeks behind your veil are like slices of a pomegranate.  My darling, everything about you is beautiful, and there is nothing at all wrong with you.”  Whispered poetry in our ears, these words of Solomon in Song of Solomon 4 were spoken for his bride.  Clearly God wants the longings of a woman to be satisfied because He captured these beautiful words in His Book for the world to read.  Beautiful words whispered from the lips of her lover gives her a sense of belonging, the knowing she is cherished and most importantly loved.

In this world of broken relationships around every corner, I want to speak life into the men and women wanting to cinch a long and lasting relationship.  The words etched on this page hone in on the longings of a woman to be shared with their lover.  A woman longs to hear words like those of Solomon;  whisper “You are remarkably beautiful…your eyes mesmerize me…your lips taste as sweet as honey…your hair glistens like the early morning dew…your skin is velvety soft…your sweet smelling scent radiates as a fresh morning blossom, you my woman are loved.”  Writing these words began to stir something inside of me.  Words like these, spoken by her man, make him more irresistible and her more willing to submit to his needs.  But a lasting relationship goes beyond mere words spoken during an intimate moment in time.

Imagine for a moment…a man calls his bride to come a little closer and takes one leg and wraps it around the left side of his hip and takes the other and wraps it around his right hip. Then, he pulls her closer, closer, closer still. Then, he looks her in the eyes and says, “I love everything about you, and I want to hear about your day.”  Women long to be listened to, not just heard or in some cases never heard.  No better way to give your lover undivided attention than to pull her in close, face to face so you hear and absorb every word coming from her lips.  Face to face you are free of all the background noise of the social media, gaming stations, entertainment centers and more that fill the four walls of the home.  Solid relationships are built on an open dialogue between lovers, not electronics and technology.  Women want a one on one, open conversation where their voice can be heard.  It is that simple.

The strength of your arms wrapped around your lover slowly removes the anxiety and helplessness felt after a long, stressful day.  Research shows that hugs release oxytocin to the body, which lowers blood pressure, anxiety and many of the toxins that deplete the body.  This simple embrace could spark a renewed sense of comfort and happiness in your lover, and as the old adage says, “it only takes a spark to start a fire.”  The sparks ignite as you lightly take your hands and massage the neck and shoulders and then slowly run your hands all the way down her arms to her fingertips.  Stop for a moment and let your hands relax together and feel the love between the two of you.  When you want her to know how much she means to you, massage her beginning with the head working your way down to the toes, allowing time to touch every inch of her body as though you are trying to give every hair on her frame your undivided attention.  She will feel the love.

As I finish this short piece on the longing of a woman, I pray for all the broken relationships. I pray somehow these words written on this page provide a way to put the pieces back together again.  God never intended for us to be broken.  I vision God looking down from above and shaking His head in disgust when he sees what His people have made of His beautiful creation.  In Genesis 1:27 it says, “So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”  And, it goes on to describe specifically how the woman was created in Genesis 2:21-22, “So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh.  Then, the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man.”  In Genesis 2:23 the man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’ for she was taken out of man.”  Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”  This is beautiful scripture folks.  God intended for our relationships to be beautiful.  There is no better source on how a man should pour out his love on his wife and how a woman should submit to her husband than that of God’s word.  He made it so simple for us…open the Bible and learn what God intends for each of us.

Tears are flowing down my cheeks at this moment.  I know God gave me this piece to write and the words to place on this page, every little detail.  So take heart my friends, cherish one another, pour out your love on one another, and show God we love Him and each and every word He has written in His Book for us.  No one loves us more than God as is written in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish but have everlasting life.”  At this moment, I know the Holy Spirit lives in me.  I feel it racing through my veins.  You too can be loved beyond measure.  God’s Word can give you everlasting love and much, much more.  Don’t wait another minute.  One day soon, Jesus will be coming as the bridegroom to take His bride home for eternity.

By Jeanette Lytle

Living

Living is the experience of being alive.

Picture a life of living.  You give generously to others…not just material means…but time, love, prayers, thanksgiving.  You use your talent and gifts to serve and share in God’s love.  You live your life every day in a manner enabling others to see Jesus.

Living is listening to great musicians of the past and present.  You learn about living as you listen to the lyrics of your favorite songs.  You know you are living when David Gilmour’s High Hopes plays in the background as you write a piece on living.

Living is knowing peace amidst circumstance.  It is the unfathomable peace of Jesus.  As you stop searching for worldly peace, you bask in the peace of the living God.  Only then will you know what it truly means to live.

Living is overcoming the fears holding you back.  Envision an escape to the mountains where you pray for freedom from fear.  You live as you walk alone in the woods, as you sleep alone in the darkness of the wilderness.  Only then do you conquer your fear and truly live.

Then, there is the ultimate living in the holy spirit.  The holy spirit is like a hidden gem within the frame of your body.  You know others have it, you search for it, but it escapes you. You vow to walk in the Lord and then it moves. When it moves, it resembles butterflies in your stomach with your first love, but only better.

You are living when you know the powerful spirit of God.  God did not give us a spirit that makes us afraid but a spirit of power and love, a spirit of peace and joy, a giving spirit.  When your dry bones come alive, that my friend is living.

Jeanette Lytle

The Fourth Day

I wrote about my 2013 Walk of Emmaus in an earlier blog, and this is a continuance of my journey upon my return.  After the most amazing 3-day walk with the Lord, the fourth day arrives…it is time to return home to your family who has no idea what you have under gone.  The spiritual leaders warn you upon leaving that your family won’t be any different, and thus won’t understand the change in you. Even though you have made a commitment to the Lord to change your ways, they won’t recognize Jesus in you just as two of Jesus’ followers didn’t recognize him as they walked the Road to Emmaus in Luke 24.

The fourth day was up to us and so my spiritual transformation begins.  I decided to fully trust God no matter the circumstances surrounding my life. I fought hard to build a better me and a better relationship with my husband and my boys.  I put a smile on my face on days when I was dying inside so I could stay in the battle against the evil in the world. I vowed to begin every morning in God’s word in the quiet of a room set apart in our house for spiritual time.  I attended an “Unglued” book study with other women in the community and read books focused on improving my everyday attitude.  I went through a daily ritual in my mind of throwing out the worry and negative thinking and replacing it with God’s scripture and positive thoughts.

I diligently served my family without complaining most days, but no one seemed to notice my great effort.  There were many days when I wanted to go back to the old me because it was easier than consistently planning, working, cooking and cleaning without complaining, yelling or arguing with someone.  Now don’t get me wrong on this; my husband and occasionally my boys would help around the house.  However, no one in my household ever thought they did anything wrong or had bad attitudes; it was always me.  I thought one of the boys might mention how it was nice that I wasn’t constantly yelling every morning as we left for work and school.  Nope, no one said a word.  And, never mind the anger from others that travelled throughout the house that I had to learn to ignore. 

I continued to rise in the mornings and beg God to take ahold of my life and guide me through the difficult days.  I never stopped spending my mornings worshipping with the Lord, and I also started to listen to many more amazing praise songs during this time.  Through the year, there were good days and bad days, but I never gave up.  Although, these were some of the most lonely and difficult days of my life, I wouldn’t trade them for anything.  This was the year I started building a relationship with the Lord and learned to lean on him and not so much on me.  He would send me scripture and praise songs that were meant just for me.  It was like I was going on a treasure hunt because I never knew where God’s words or praise songs would show up.  And, KLOVE was great at playing just the right songs. 

God reminds me in Galatians 6:9 “We must not become tired of doing good.  We will receive our harvest of eternal life at the right time if we do not give up.” A lot has happened since this time in 2013, but I never gave up. God’s strong hand pulled me through, and I hope you come back for the rest of the story.  I will let you know how it turns out.

Love always,

Jeanette Lytle

Death

Death steals life like a thief in the night, leaving behind only empty space and time.  Darkness and gloom now reside where there once was life.  No one escapes this thing called death.

But wait.  Does death have to be this way?  No.  Death can be conquered when we die of self.  "For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live."  Romans 8:13

Each day we have a choice to live our life selfishly engaged in worldly things that deliver temporary satisfaction or to wake in the morning asking God to reveal His path of righteousness.  Spiritual healing commences when we mercifully give of ourselves.

As a grain that falls to the earth and dies in order to bear much fruit, we can accept death and bear the fruit of our labor.  Death isn't the end...when we die of self and accept Jesus Christ as our savior...we are born again experiencing true life for the first time.

In death, I choose life.

Jeanette Lytle

The Beauty and the Beast

As my friend says, “you can't make this stuff up”.

The Beauty---On this beautiful day, November 11, 2016, I end my day at USI in my office having an awesome conversation with one of my students.  The past week had been crazy busy for both of us, and we discussed how the week was coming to such a peaceful end.  We would have some time to rest and breathe with no major events on the schedule this weekend.  We then discussed a hodge-podge of topics…a job opportunity I came across for him (the real reason we met), disabled workers entering the work force, what we had endured in Canada during our case study trip, and steps in starting an NFP.  I opened up and shared some of my past pains and my dreams for the future.

I told him one of the best decisions I ever made was when I chose to teach accounting at USI.  Each day, I have many opportunities to influence so many young people and in return have been blessed with much from each of them.  I rose from my desk and pointed out many of the special blessings from days gone by and shared memories of those special students with him.  These are some of the moments that take your breath away.

He needed some sleep, and I was in need of an allergy shot so it was time to part.  But before we left, I told him of a song that expressed how I was feeling this week, “Born Again” by Third Day and played it for him.  As it was playing, he told me that Third Day was the first Christian Rock CD he had owned and mentioned his confirmation class years back.  At the end of the song, I told him the song I was playing was by Third Day.  He didn’t know I was playing Third Day; how cool is that moment.

The Beast---I was travelling home from the doctor’s office and I barely avoided a crash with a split second decision to hit the median while locking up breaks and turning a hard left at 55 mph, not knowing the outcome. Thankfully God was there. No lives lost, only the few nerves I had left gone.  I told myself I had to pull it together and drive the rest of the way home because we had dinner plans at the Log Inn with family for my brother's birthday.  I pull in the driveway hoping everyone was ready to go as I know the boys have been informed more than once this week.  Then, one of my sons walks towards me telling me he's leaving on a date. Bad timing as I have no nerves left. I lose my mind too at that moment and go off on him when he says he didn't know about dinner. I am at that point, shaking, crying, screaming, etc. I honestly wished I could have been a 17 year old at the time so I could have just punched him in the face.

The Beauty---My other son grabs ahold of me and hugs me tight until I am somewhat calm again.  My head hurts from the crash and argument so Austin pours me some water so I can take some medicine.  We make it to dinner (with only one son) 30 minutes late, and we have a lovely feast with my family.  What a blessing to be sharing my brother, Fred’s 53rd birthday.  He has diabetes and an aneurysm near his heart so every day with him is a blessed day.  My brother Fred is one of the good guys, and I hope we have many more years together.  Later, back at home, I go to bed listening to Third Day. I finally shut it off, close my eyes and fall fast to sleep.

The Beast---SHABAM!!#. The iPad blares out a song, Consuming Fire by Third Day, and now I have been radically awakened by the noise.  I should mention the iPad is in many shades of pink, green and purple and blurred because it was in my backpack when it flew across the back seat and slammed up against the door earlier in the evening. I shut down the iPad and returned to a state of sleep.  

Beep, beep, beep…another alarm has awakened me at 3:00am. Last night it turned out to be the carbon monoxide alarm; tonight the fire alarm. While I am taking care of the beeping, I look into my son’s room and see he didn't come home last night.  So, I call and text, no answer. So here I am posting my dramatic evening for the world to read so everyone knows you just can't control the Beauty and the Beast.  Thankfully I received a text while writing this and now can get an early start with the #First5 weekend wrap up and my morning devotional time with God.

The Beauty---I know I must trust in Him. Jesus died on the cross just to be with you and me.  There is beauty in knowing he lives through me each day in the spirit.  Thank you for reading this piece.  I pray you have gained hope, peace of mind, and most importantly the knowledge that God is in control.  From his lips, "I am the Lord your God who holds your right hand, and I say to you do not be afraid.  I will help you," Isaiah 41:13.  And, never ever give up.  

Your prayers would be much appreciated.

With all my love,

Jeanette Lytle

The Day After

We have little to no political conversations in our house because my focus is on teaching my children what I value most in life…the love of the Lord, family, friends, education and the less fortunate in life.  However, they have heard much in this area from school and others in their life.  Before we went to sleep last night one of my boys was asking about a passport because people had been talking about moving to Canada.  I told him not to worry because we will be protected, but I would obtain a passport for our whole family if it would make him feel better.

Then, this morning, I awoke to a message from another son that said, “He’s gonna win Mom, how could that happen.”  Here was my reply, “I know baby.  But that is not what is important right now.  Now more than ever, you have to know that God does exist.  He is going to watch over us because we are Christians.  Make sure you have Jesus in your heart because this was predicted long before any of us was born.  Make sure you are sharing your love of the Lord with your friends.  I love you!”  This is what you all should share with your children so they know God will watch over them.

I opened my bible this morning to these words from the book of Jude, and I hope you share them with your family and friends.  “Dear friends, remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ said before.  They said to you “In the last times there will be people who laugh about God, following their own evil desires which are against God.”  These are the people who divide you, people whose thoughts are only of this world, who do not have the Spirit.  But dear friends, use your most holy faith to build yourselves up, praying in the Holy Spirit.  Keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the Lord Jesus Christ with his mercy to give you life forever.  Show mercy to some people who have doubts.  Take others out of the fire, and save them.  Show mercy mixed with fear to others, hating even their clothes which are dirty from sin.  God is strong and can help you not to fall.  He can bring you before his Glory without any wrong in you and can give you great joy.  He is the only God, the One who saves us.  To him be the glory, greatness, power, and authority through Jesus Christ our Lord for all time past, now and forever.  Amen. “  Jude 17-25.

Jesus says, "Let the children come."  If you don’t know Jesus as your Savior, bow your head and accept him today.  God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit will watch over you.

With all my love,

Jeanette Lytle

I Am With Jesus

The most important choice you can make today is Jesus.  Jesus is the only answer for the corruption we face each day in this world.  Jesus is the only one who can save our world.  Trump, nor Clinton, will have any bearing on what the future holds for you or your beautiful children.  If at this moment, you do not know Jesus, bow your head and ask God to forgive you for all your sins…then ask Jesus into your heart.  He is the only way through this world.

How do I know he is the answer?  I have broken most of the Ten Commandments during my lifetime.  God has hit me with struggle after struggle through the years.  No, I never received His message time and time again.  I had always believed God existed, and I knew that I should follow the commandments, but I chose not to year after year.  Then, a few years back I made a decision to live my life the way Jesus would have me to live.  I started reading God’s word day in and day out.  I purchased resource books that helped me become a better me.  I prayed more and more with each passing day.

Today, I know the wondrous feeling of receiving God’s favor, and I see His Glory again and again.  Walking with the Lord hasn’t removed all the struggles of my world, but it has made it possible for me to overcome them.   The struggles of this world have been many, but each one I have overcome has made me stronger and more willing to share the message of our Savior.   

I know Jesus as my personal savior, and I hear the small still voice of the Lord.  He reminds me daily not to judge others.  He helps me arise every day and love the unlovable.  He reaches down and asks me to share my story of grace that God bestowed on me with others.  He speaks to me through His scripture, music, nature, and by any means he deems necessary so I know that he is there.

Before you make a decision to go on social media and condemn any of the candidates running in the election, let me remind you of a few sinful people in the bible that God touched.  God turned around one of the most corrupt men in the bible, Saul.  Jesus was a friend of a sinful woman of the bible, the Lady at the Well.  God made David, King, a man who lusted after many women.  And, God chose to sacrifice his own son so that you and I could know salvation.  I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture.  Jesus loved sinners and God took the life of His child.

Each and every one of you should go out and vote today.  Before you head to the polls make the best possible decision you can for yourself and your family….say I Am with Jesus.  Then, pray about your choice and ask yourself what would Jesus do?  If you are having a hard time saying “yes” to Jesus, I encourage you to listen to this song by Third Day, Carry My Cross.

Each one of you can change the world every day through your love.

Jeanette Lytle

Power

When I was a little girl, I thought of someone with great strength at the mention of the word “power”.   My father had power to bring down an ax to chop wood and the power to throw me in the air and catch me.  Then, in my early teens I thought of power as what it took to supply the electricity to operate my blow dryer.

As I entered the workforce in my 20’s, my idea of power drastically changed.  I thought about the people who used their influence to rise to the top of the corporation.  A person had power when they were able to influence and direct the people and activities of an organization.  Some people even became power hungry making power seem less desirable to me.

Now in my 50's, I see power much differently.   Power is an intrinsic driver of my health and well-being.  I exercise power when I control my thoughts.  Power can direct my attention to positive thinking.  I have been researching and working on power thoughts for close to four years with the assistance of Joyce Meyer's, Power Thoughts.  Power over thoughts has been one of the most difficult challenges. 

Just today, I came across a person of influence at USI, and I walked away thinking about how they viewed me in my blue jeans and t-shirt as I raced off to class.  I thought they were judging my attire when their eyes wondered down to my feet.  Sometime later, I told myself it was all in my mind and moved on from that pattern of thinking.  Much power is necessary to control one’s thoughts, but the reward is a healthier and happier life when we gain power over our thoughts.

Then, there is the power of love.  Do you realize every day when you awake, you can exercise great power through your act of love.  Others are far more responsive to your requests when you show them love.  So much power can be unharnessed through loving others.  We can love others through the sharing of a smile, a hug or random gift, or through service and acts of kindness.   

Just think about the massive amount of energy that could be generated if everyone in the world would just chose love.  In the words of Jimi Hendrix, "When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace."  Change the world...spread the power of love in the name of the one who gave us life through the power of His blood.  Blood runs through our veins and permits the ultimate power of life over death.  Without the power of the blood, there would be no human race.  Power is a very powerful force.

Jeanette Lytle

Authenticity

Authenticity is proof that something is real.  Artists sign their works of art to provide authenticity.  Clothing and personal items contain tags of authenticity.  But what shows the authenticity of a person?

 “Like a clown I put on a show, pain is real even if nobody knows, I’m crying inside and nobody knows it but me.”  Do those lyrics by the Tony Rich Project resonate with you?  Do you often wonder what lies behind the mask of a smile?  Is it real or a painted grin?  There is no authenticity when we choose to mask our pain.

Be authentic, be real. Expose the brokenness.  Let them see the scars. Here on this page I share a perfect example of authenticity.

Once there was a man who traveled homeless from place to place sharing stories and healing many along the way.  He didn’t care how poor or broken these people were in his path.  He didn’t care about the depths of their sin.  He showed them love and compassion regardless of their status or stature.  In John 11:35 He wept.  He was no stranger to pain.  Then the day came.  He was chosen to be crucified.  His hands and feet nailed to the cross and His body displayed for the whole world to see. There He died for you and me; one knows no greater love.

A few days later, He returned to his disciples and one inquired about His true identity.  How could they know He was the real deal?  What proof could he offer them?  He said, “Put your finger here, and look at my hands.  Put your hand here in my side.  Stop being an unbeliever and believe.” John 20:27.  Jesus showed his deep wounds and scars to prove He was genuine.  That, my friend, is authenticity.

We must open up, be vulnerable and show others our deepest scars.  Only then, will they see the real you.  Today, I too am scarred and broken.  I celebrate my son’s 13th birthday with the feeling of utmost joy, but yet suffer for the one who weeps at the loss of their son who spends his 13th birthday in heaven.  My son lived while another’s was taken too soon on a dark day in June 2012.  There are no words…only bittersweet joy and pain. 

Scars and wounds mark a person’s authenticity.  That’s how we know a person is real.

Be authentic…be real.

Jeanette Lytle

10/28/16

Why Me?

I have been posting for almost a year on my blog at peacetranscends.com, but I only openly shared the site with a select group of people.  I plan to write and one day, to speak to provide healing for others during their struggle.  I wrote a piece entitled, "Why Me?"  I hope you gain an understanding of what has to happen before healing begins.  

How many times have you asked the question “why me”?  I have asked it too many times to count.  A recent event left me traumatized, wondering whether I would ever feel relief from the blows of this world.  They have hit again and again over the years, and as I start thinking a period of calm has come…Wham!!!  The sledge hammer comes down and breaks me again.

I woke one morning, wondering how I would stand in front of my class feeling so broken.  I contemplated what activity the class could work on so I wouldn’t have to teach.  Then, a friend sends me an image of a broken lady and under it reads these words, “Let them see the brokenness.  Let them see the cracks.  That’s how the light gets out.”  These words resonated with me and suddenly I saw my brokenness as an opportunity for healing.

As class started, I told the students I had gone through some rough days and asked them to overlook anything I said that didn’t make sense.  As it turns out, my students are very compassionate and one in particular, my student worker, kept me organized all week.  Tears fell like rain that day, but my brokenness that day wasn't so bad; others stepped up and took care of me.  This, my friend was a great feeling.

A few days later, I travel down to North Carolina to visit with my son for a few days. We are having the time of our life.  We attend a Chancellor's dinner, watch a football game, hike in the mountains, shop at an outlet mall and share many hugs.  On the third day, I drive up the winding road to our NC property, only to find our shed, where we store our belongings for maintaining the land, nearly empty.  Someone had broken the gate lock at the end of the driveway, drove up the hill and claimed our mower, chain saw, generator and many other items.

Yes, I asked “why me”.  I said, “Lord I read your Holy Word daily, I thank you for my blessings, I lead a women’s group, what more do you want from me.”  As the days went on the answer came, “You have a story to share with others.  I have taken you through so much because others must know about my existence.  You must leave your comfort zone and share your story so others know about me.  I have given you everything.  What are you waiting for?”  Yes, he has given me everything as he has also done for each of you.

This week during my devotional time, I listened to some of my favorite Christian songs.  One way God speaks to me is through music.  He has blessed me with so many awesome songs, but the one he chose for me this time, left tears on my ipad.  The song, “Carry My Cross” sung by Third Day in a youtube, video was far from comfortable for me.  In this video, Jesus carried the cross for me.  I can no longer deny God’s calling for my life.

I have experienced a lifetime of heartache, grief, devastation and trials of sorts.  People need people, and no one should carry their burdens alone.  Jesus carried the cross, took the nails, and died on the cross for forgiveness of my sins and a chance at eternal life. In his place he left his holy spirit which resides in each of us.  Join me in the utimate unveiling so others can know healing under God’s salvation.  At this moment, if you don't know Christ, bow your head and ask him to forgive your sins and come and live inside your heart.  May His peace surround you on this beautiful day.  

With all my love,

Jeanette Lytle

Alone in the Struggle

In a recent post, I exposed the struggles I have been experiencing…depression, sadness, and brokenness in the pressures of everyday life.  No matter how many positive thoughts I conjure up in my brain, I quickly find myself defeated once again.  Some days I feel so alone in the struggle.  Maybe, you can relate to these feelings in your own life.

I live in a household of males who cannot begin to understand what I am going through.  I have hit the stage of my life where nothing seems right in this world.  I am constantly losing items, and I cannot remember anything.  I make lists so I don’t forget things, but then I leave the “to do” list behind.  One day, I had my office keys dangling from my pinky finger while I frantically looked for them.  I am feeling like an absolute crazy lady.

Most days I don’t want to be touched, and I especially have no sexual desire.  I am fairly certain all is dead within those walls.  I understand the concept of submission, but sometimes it just isn’t worth the pain.  Do you think men would be more understanding if they knew the pain you felt from the rawness afterwards?  Or what about the pain of bulging hemorrhoids that may last for weeks after you decide to satisfy your man.  Ladies…the struggle is real!

Then, there is the emotional wreck age.  I have a son in college, seven hours away, who thinks he is invincible.  He understands the dangers of high cliffs and waterfalls, but he will take the risk anyway.  I vowed to turn my sin of worry over to the Lord a few years back, but it still creeps back in when I hear reports of a person going over a waterfall to their death.  Then, there are the everyday emotions of joy and anger I experience as I parent my senior and 7th grade sons.  They know how to keep me on an emotional rollercoaster.  Not to mention, no one hears me.  I might as well talk to a brick wall. 

How do you combat all these emotions making waves inside of you?  I have searched for solutions daily, and I found temporary relief in these:

1)      Take a long walk and look for hidden treasures like a beautiful yellow daisy, a heavenly cloud or a fluttering butterfly.  Nature can fill your mind with temporary relief;

2)      Write down your feelings and share them with others; if you are feeling alone, you can bet someone else is feeling the same way;

3)      Talk to a trusty-worthy friend or family member about how you are feeling;

4)      Listen to some calming music: and

5)      Try out a yoga class; absolutely love this

The fact of the matter is we have to go through this thing in life, called menopause.  Maybe, you haven’t reached that stage of life yet, but it is inevitable.    If you are wondering if that is affecting you, then go to the doctor and have your estrogen level checked.  This may be the cause of many of your shortcomings and emotional wreckage.  On a recent visit, I learned my estrogen level is “0”.  If you study estrogen, you will learn it controls emotional balance and the well-being of your life, including sexual desire.  I recently added estrogen patches to my weekly routine hoping for some balance soon. 

In a few months, I will get back with you and post the results of my increased estrogen levels.  Meanwhile, I plan to work on a more permanent solution with the help of God’s word.  In 2 Corinthians 1: 3-4, I am reminded, “God is the Father who is full of mercy and all comfort.  He comforts us every time we have trouble, so when others have trouble, we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us.”  You can be certain, I will not give up.  I am going to continue praying and living on the emotional roller coaster of life.

Jeanette Lytle

The Struggle Is Real

For those for whom the struggle is real, I hope you can take something away from this writing today to give you a glimpse of peace and hope amidst the struggle.

I lay on the couch this morning, knowing I have a million “to dos” on my list, but I can’t pry my weary bones from my soul searching place of comfort.  I have watched 20 minutes of Lysa Terkeurst’s talk on rejection; I have read the First5 devotional; I have read my “Jesus Calling” devotional; And, I have listened to spiritual music.  In the midst of Kari Jobe’s, Forever, song, the phone rings.  I answer the phone, and it is my friend who is feeling the same way I am.  As I am talking with my friend, I get off the couch.  I walk upstairs and prepare for a bath and then I say to her, “The Struggle Is Real.” 

Now, I am writing this piece to share some helpful advice with others.  First and foremost, we must realize, “Our fight is not against the people on earth but against the rulers and authorities and the powers of this world’s darkness, against the spiritual powers of evil in the heavenly world.” Ephesians 6:12. 

I am fighting the evil spirit of depression and have been for several months.  This fight bothers me in a big way because I know I have so much to be thankful for in my life.  So, what does one do when they are facing the struggles of this world?  I have some thoughts on this, and I know if I just take my own advice, I can overcome this dark place I keep finding myself in day after day.

1.       Get out of the bed or off the couch no matter how weary you feel.

2.       Phone a friend. This has helped me a couple of times this week.

3.       Work on your “to do” list.  Accomplishments will make you feel better about your day.

4.       Play some of your favorite music.  Eventually, one song will lift you up out of the muck.

5.       Exercise.  I have been failing at this one lately, but I know it is absolutely necessary.

6.       Turn to nature.  God has created so much beauty on this earth for us.  As the saying goes,            “We just need to stop and smell the roses.”

7.       And most importantly, ask God to help you in the struggles.  He will show up in his timing.

Thankfully, I chose not to post this before my bath because I now have two more items to add to the list:

8.       Soak in an Epson salt bath.  I am feeling better already.

9.       Spend less time on social media and more time in face-to-face conversations.

I hope someone reading this today escapes from their struggle, if only for a little while.  I share these words on  suffering from Romans 5:3-5, “We also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts.”

Lastly, I leave you with a quote from Max Lucado that I came across in the side notes of my bible this morning.  He has a unique definition of hope:   “Hope is an olive leaf-evidence of dry land after a flood.  Proof to the dreamer that dreaming is worth the risk.”

By Jeanette Lytle