In a recent post, I exposed the struggles I have been experiencing…depression, sadness, and brokenness in the pressures of everyday life. No matter how many positive thoughts I conjure up in my brain, I quickly find myself defeated once again. Some days I feel so alone in the struggle. Maybe, you can relate to these feelings in your own life.
I live in a household of males who cannot begin to understand what I am going through. I have hit the stage of my life where nothing seems right in this world. I am constantly losing items, and I cannot remember anything. I make lists so I don’t forget things, but then I leave the “to do” list behind. One day, I had my office keys dangling from my pinky finger while I frantically looked for them. I am feeling like an absolute crazy lady.
Most days I don’t want to be touched, and I especially have no sexual desire. I am fairly certain all is dead within those walls. I understand the concept of submission, but sometimes it just isn’t worth the pain. Do you think men would be more understanding if they knew the pain you felt from the rawness afterwards? Or what about the pain of bulging hemorrhoids that may last for weeks after you decide to satisfy your man. Ladies…the struggle is real!
Then, there is the emotional wreck age. I have a son in college, seven hours away, who thinks he is invincible. He understands the dangers of high cliffs and waterfalls, but he will take the risk anyway. I vowed to turn my sin of worry over to the Lord a few years back, but it still creeps back in when I hear reports of a person going over a waterfall to their death. Then, there are the everyday emotions of joy and anger I experience as I parent my senior and 7th grade sons. They know how to keep me on an emotional rollercoaster. Not to mention, no one hears me. I might as well talk to a brick wall.
How do you combat all these emotions making waves inside of you? I have searched for solutions daily, and I found temporary relief in these:
1) Take a long walk and look for hidden treasures like a beautiful yellow daisy, a heavenly cloud or a fluttering butterfly. Nature can fill your mind with temporary relief;
2) Write down your feelings and share them with others; if you are feeling alone, you can bet someone else is feeling the same way;
3) Talk to a trusty-worthy friend or family member about how you are feeling;
4) Listen to some calming music: and
5) Try out a yoga class; absolutely love this
The fact of the matter is we have to go through this thing in life, called menopause. Maybe, you haven’t reached that stage of life yet, but it is inevitable. If you are wondering if that is affecting you, then go to the doctor and have your estrogen level checked. This may be the cause of many of your shortcomings and emotional wreckage. On a recent visit, I learned my estrogen level is “0”. If you study estrogen, you will learn it controls emotional balance and the well-being of your life, including sexual desire. I recently added estrogen patches to my weekly routine hoping for some balance soon.
In a few months, I will get back with you and post the results of my increased estrogen levels. Meanwhile, I plan to work on a more permanent solution with the help of God’s word. In 2 Corinthians 1: 3-4, I am reminded, “God is the Father who is full of mercy and all comfort. He comforts us every time we have trouble, so when others have trouble, we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us.” You can be certain, I will not give up. I am going to continue praying and living on the emotional roller coaster of life.
Jeanette Lytle