In a story of my life in the wilderness, “my countless sins have been laid out before you. I know I don’t deserve to be called a child of God with the weight of my sins. But, the good news is God loves us and forgives us, we only need to repent and ask in His name. Then, He in return asks us to sin no more.” These are the closing words in a book God has called me to write, but some days He gives me so much good stuff, I don’t want to wait for the published piece, possibly years from now. The scripture and paragraphs below are a piece of my written work.
I listen to stories of others losing faith in their state of brokenness. The world has reached a level of despair surpassing our level of understanding. Young lives are taken from loved ones leaving little hope for tomorrow. People are drowning in a sea of anxiety and despair. Wandering souls are searching for relief from their pain, finding comfort in unwanted places. Just yesterday, one of my students disclosed his recently diagnosed anxiety disorder.
The power that can be found in weakness resonates with me, and I have witnessed first-hand the healing power of God in our brokenness. I have inlaid the written word of God through his apostle Paul, who knows what it means to overcome in every sense of the word. God converted Paul on the road to Damascus and here are some of his words in 2 Corinthians 12:
2 I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. 3 And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— 4 was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things, things that no one is permitted to tell. 5 I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. 6 Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, 7 or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
I love how Paul uses his weaknesses to show God’s power. God has dug thorns in my flesh countless times. He has destroyed me to the innermost core of my soul in His transformation process. God transforms his chosen people to serve as strong, spiritual warriors in his army. He has torpedoed me with countless trials and unbearable turmoil, and I have fallen again and again. There have been times when I was unsure whether I could muster the strength to go on. It was during those times of my life that God showed me there is power in the brokenness.
Countless times, I have screamed to the Lord “Save me from this spiritual battle of good and evil! Captivate my thoughts! Replace them with the power of your Holy word! I cannot take this anymore!!” He has answered the screams, but in return He requires tremendous sacrifice. I have sacrificed time, sleep and my appetite. I have given to those in need, listened to the broken-hearted and awakened many nights to write of His glory. Slowly he begins to repair the despair. Know that he cannot heal in a day. It is a continuous process of crying out to Jesus, asking for forgiveness and turning to God’s word for guidance and comfort. In the beginning, you may not feel His Presence as it takes time. But, do not give up the fight!!
Maybe, you are broken and need to know the power of the Lord today. If you are wandering on a sinful path or have fallen into a pit of despair, cry out to Jesus and build another layer with the Lord, He will make you stronger. As you continue to grow your relationship with the Lord, He will give you warrior strength. I truly believe He places you on hard, bumpy roads for strength building. He is all knowing, and the spiritual battle ahead will be the hardest fight of your life. There is no room for weakness in the battle of good versus evil. God needs every part of you focused on combating evil and pulling others to Christ by the power of your testimony.
Thank you, Jesus, for dying on the cross for me. I will not be defeated. I will overcome by the power of the Holy Spirit. I vow to forever serve in your Kingdom and to share the story of your great power in the brokenness of my life. Again, as is written in 2 Corinthians 12: 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”